To the women who don’t get to hold their children this Mother’s Day, I see you; I love you, I am you.

I feel like an imposter to say that I’m a mother. Maybe you do too.

I don’t feel like a mother. I feel like a shell of a woman longing to be a mother, but despite how I “feel,” I am a mom to two babies that I won’t meet earth-side.

In my case, being a mom looks different from the superhero moms that I love and adore who have babies here with them. I don’t get to hold my babies’ hands, smell that precious newborn smell or kiss their inevitably chubby cheeks, but if God had given me those babies, I would be holding their hands, breathing in that sweet newborn smell, and kissing their chubby cheeks, and because of that, I am a mom.

I love them with my whole heart because they are my babies, and I am their mama.

If you’re reading this because you feel how I feel, I’m sorry. This is a club no one should have to be a part of. But I love you, and I’m here if you ever need to talk, vent, cry, scream or dream about those babies we are missing.

If you’re reading this and know a woman who has lost a baby, love her. Today is hard.

Happy Mother’s Day, mama.

xoxo,